i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I checked into jail on foursquare
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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