We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
