dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Randomize
