so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
