Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
