if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
