i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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