In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
