fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dicks are not precious.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
