we have officially lost it.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
