I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the day after is always just damage control
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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