You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
