I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
