The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
