Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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