My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
