I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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