I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
