come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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