Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
