ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
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