yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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