You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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