Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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