i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
