Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
