Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
