love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
