There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
