maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
false alarm. still invincible.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
