I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
