she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
