Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
it's like iHOP with fire
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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