The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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