You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I have tasted many bathrooms
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
