adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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