The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
