She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
