But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
