I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
