Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...

(515): View more from Iowa

Ur type is ready and willing

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(513): View more from Ohio

Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.

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(734): View more from Michigan

i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...

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(314): View more from Missouri

Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.

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(602): View more from Arizona

I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.

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(314): View more from Missouri

My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.

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(616): View more from Michigan

you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.

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