Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
