All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
