I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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