she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
