That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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