Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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