i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
