Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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