Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
This baby is an asshole
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
